no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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