Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
