this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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