I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
