why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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