I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
