so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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