sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
