PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
