Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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