yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
