I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
