I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
