Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
