I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
