I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
