There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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