I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize