I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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