I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
