I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
