He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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