After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
