I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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