hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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