I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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