You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
