My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize