Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
