I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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