I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
