They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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