Your face is a jimmy john
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize