And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
