Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
