just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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