Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
