There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
