Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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