Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
