it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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