WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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