I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
