You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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