Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
