Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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