Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
high people should be assigned attendants
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
