My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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