It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
