dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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