im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
