just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
