ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
