She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have tasted many bathrooms
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
