i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
