So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
