My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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