seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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