I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
