so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
this will be a night to untag.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
