butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
